Chronique:BWU 08/10/2004

What Gives?

This week, because our fingers hurt from typing obscenities, we decided to not only do the update in video form, but also to give you a chance to tour the (admittedly empty) Bungie offices, see who's still around now that most of the hard work is out of the way, and let you in on a few staff secrets. But something happened today, something so awful that we can't begin to describe it.

Wait a minute. That's a lie, I can totally describe it. So, we made this video update, with all this cool stuff in it, and then the Webmaster shows up. You know the Webmaster right? Drunk dude in Gorilla suit?

So we have two problems during our Halo 2 is Nearly Done Sushi Party. The first is that there's no sign of the Webmaster. The second is that the pressure on the keg is off. We have a fresh keg of Asahi Super Dry for the party, and there's no pressure. The beer is dribbling out like a bad prostate, and the crowd is getting angry. They want their beer. Then Sketch looks under the keg. Webmaster is there, passed out, having used a second copper line that he had wired into ours to steal all the booze. You have to admire his ingenuity, but he could have just asked...

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the Webmaster's state of disgrace means that you'll have noticed our site has been acting CRAZY all day long. As a result of the high craziness, we were unable to post our long-planned spectacular video update. So to make it up to you, here's a sneaky little screenshot from a new Multiplayer map called Ascension, which you can read all about (and see more exclusive shots of) in the latest issues of XBN and EGM magazines, both available to subscribers right now, or very, very soon.

As for the update. It's gonna be there on Monday. And it's gonna be HUGE. The biggest, most important update ever. Now, there. No pressure...