Chronique:BWU 06/11/2009

Posted by urk at 11/6/2009 4:19 PM PST

Dear Internet,

Why you always gotta be trippin'?

Bungie Store, Fully Operational[modifier]

Yeah, so you're not exactly a small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy, but you do seem to have a whole mess of questions about our fresh re-launch of the infamous Bungie Store (and apparently some of you have an unhealthy and insatiable lust for plushies - lookin' right at you, Louis Wu).

Since you're so full of questions, we're gonna empty out our noggins of some of these here answers.

Tons of our international friends asked, "Hey Bungie, I'm a cosmopolitan sophisticate living out my days outside of the U.S. and I would love to partake in your fine array of Bungie-branded apparel and accessories, but it appears your storefront is incapable of international shipment. May I inquire as to your plans, if any, to remedy this situation?"

You may. As of right now, you're correct, we're not shipping outside of the United States. I know. Boo. Hiss. All that. Yeah, it's not ideal.

As of this writing, we're actually our own fulfillment center. What that means is when you place your order, we walk over to our studio swag closet, yank a t-shirt down off the rack, box it up, and personally ship it out to you. Makes international shipping problematic on a number of levels.

We're looking at some solutions that will allow us to extend the Bungie Store's borders, but for now, no sale. Sorry. It's not you, it's us. If and when we can make orders outside of the states happen, we'll send word.

Everybody asked, "How about you jerks add some more Halo merch to the store!?"

We don't own the rights to the Halo IP. That means we can't and don't manufacture or sell Halo branded items. That extends not only to the name "Halo" itself, but also to the characters and iconic imagery you associate with our beloved baby.

Everybody is now gonna ask, "Umm, you do know that there is Superintendent and Halo stuff up for sale in the store, right? Why are you a dirty stinking liar who dupes, tricks, and lies to us?"

We own the trademarks to certain select stuff. We are the boss of that particular stuff. The Halo stuff isn't stuff we own or that we can sell. In the cases where you see Halo-related stuff in the store, we're simply acting as the middlemen. Facilitators, see? Though it might look like we're selling that stuff direclty, we're just linking you through to other cool places where you can purchase that sweet Halo stuff. And stuff.

Everybody is then so totally gonna ask, "Alright, how about you facilitate some more cool Bungie stuff into the store then?"

On it. Earlier in the week we slapped up the brand new Bungie Crested Cinch Sack. It's awesome. Comes with reinforced grommets. Check it out.

"Know what would be great stuffed into this Bungie Crested Cinch Sack? A whole mess of Bungie-themed t-shirts, flashlights, and water bottles! It's also great for small sandwiches, paperback books, and the severed limbs of your dead and dismembered foes. Stuff this sucker like a turkey, pull the drawstring extra tight, and head for the border, double-time. You're gonna need to sack up and lay low for a while."

Store Gone Wild[modifier]

In related news, we're also onto the folks who were appending links to the Bungie Store URL to try to make it look like we were hawking a whole heaping pile of unsanctioned goods. We even got a few dozen messages informing us that we'd been hacked so totally hard and that we were now officially selling such fine wares as Girls Gone Wild and the Nintendo Wii. Fixed. Turns out those weren't the most bizarre items that we were offering up for sale this week either.

10 Hours, 6,700 Miles[modifier]

That's approximately how far away from home PFC Carrington Martin is right now. We can't pinpoint his location with any more accuracy then that. His exact coordinates are classified. He did, however, send along some shots from the field to Dave Candland earlier in the week, and since it looked like he was having some fun with Halo during his brief moments of downtime, we thought it would be cool to link up with him and have a chat.

Q. Name and rank.

A. PFC Carrington Martin

Q. So, uh...what are you doing over in Iraq?

A. I am currently serving my country one day at a time. My job is a 35M, also called a Human Intelligence Collector, aka Interrogator. Also playing some Halo, of course.

Q. Human Intelligence Collector, eh? Glad I'm the one asking the questions. Um, Halo. 'Sup with dat?

A. Well, from time to time, it gets boring over here. And why not just sit down and relax to some entertainment I like to call Halo 3. The pictures I took are at a place called USO (United Service Organizations) and what they do is set up a building full of TV's, gaming consoles of all kinds, and even two movie theaters. Majority of the soldiers here love to play multiplayer, and since Halo is the best multiplayer game out there, why not play the game with other soldiers? Now that Halo 3: ODST came out, Firefight is like, the -blam!- over here.

Q. Oh, are you able to get online or are we talking LAN play? What about campaign? You guys get cooperative?

A. If I brought over my own TV, Xbox 360 and games, I would be playing LIVE right now. But my job in the Army is too important and time cannot be wasted. But LAN playing? HELL YA WE DO! In fact, this coming Sunday, November 8th is a 4v4 Halo 3 Tournament at the USO building, and guess who already signed up?

Campaign is always an option. Playing four players with all skulls on (Mythic style) can be fun, especially on Legendary. That's a riot right there.

Q. What else are you playing to keep yourself occupied during your brief moments of R&R?

A. We also love to play Rockband (who doesn't), Guitar Hero Metallica, and Guitar Hero 5. And there's always that one guy who wants to play Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Majority of us wanna here that infamous voice say, "Killing Spree!"

(Also, Mr. Urk, can I give a shout out to my friends Caragan and TI Fatality? Those two guys are my best friends and I wouldn't be where I would be today without them.)

We can and you just did. Oh, and Mister is a bit formal for me, especially coming from a soldier. Way too much respect being paid. Plus it makes me feel old.

Thanks for playing Halo and sending along the pic . And thanks especially for taking care of business overseas, Carrington. Come home safe.

Blame Stosh[modifier]

Stosh said he didn't find anything good this week. I dunno, this seems pretty awesome.

We Out[modifier]

Yeah, short and sweet this week. You get what you pay for. If you're good, we'll make it up to you some day.